


Displaced

by shannyfish



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adler x Benanti, Alice Adler - Freeform, Ayrdaen - Freeform, Ayrdaen M'rynn, CADMUS - Freeform, DEO - Freeform, Danvers Sisters, Displaced, Doctor Danvers, Dying Alex Danvers, Gen, Kryptonian, Lara Benanti - Freeform, Martian Manhunter - Freeform, Midvale, National City, Project Cadmus, Protective Alex Danvers, Susan Vasquez - Freeform, The DEO | Department of Extra-Normal Operations, Thoron, Time Travel, Virus, stasis pod, super sisters, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-14 20:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14144004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: Alex is displaced.





	1. The Present

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've been slowly trying to get back into writing and have been writing this story as extremely short chapters (trying to cut out filler). I put up a poll on Twitter and the majority of people wanted me to just go ahead and start posting. So, I'll post this chapter now and then post the next one in the next couple of days. 
> 
> I'll also add more characters, relationships, and tags to the story as I update it. Trying not to spoil ALL THE THINGS with this story that came out of my crazy brain.

It was dark, they were huddled together, hiding from those who would likely kill them.  She held the child close and tight, whispering into their ear as they waited for the soldiers to pass.  "There once was a girl from Krypton...she was fearless, a heart full of grief but also so much love, and she was the best person I knew…"

 

"What happened to her?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"What was her name?"

 

"Kara."  A beat passed, sadness in her voice.  "She was my sister."

 

They'd waited there for some time and she'd thought it was safe.  So, she'd removed the panel and climbed out first, weapon at the ready.  When she looked around, there hadn't been anyone or any sign. It was in that moment when she turned back to grab the child that she realized how absolutely exhausted she was.  They both needed food, water, and a lot of rest. Right now, they needed to get somewhere safe, that was their first priority. 

 

"Do you hear something?" the child whispered.

 

She didn't, but she was on high guard the moment the child's feet hit the ground.  Her weapon was up and her eyes kept darting in the direction of the slightest bit of sound.  She balanced the weapon with one hand and used her other hand to ensure that the child was right at her hip and hidden behind her body as much as possible before placing her hand back on the weapon.  Her head was pounding and spinning all at the same time, her balance was off, and she didn't know how long she could keep this up. They needed to find somewhere safe. 

 

"The pod shouldn't have opened."

 

It was something that she was aware of even more so in that moment.  Blinking rapidly, she told herself that she needed to focus. So, she tried to focus on the one person that she found herself missing the most.  "She would have loved you, you know," she whispered as they moved slowly down the hallway. "I think you two would have had a lot in common."

 

"I would have liked to meet her, I think."

 

She felt sick to her stomach and she had to pause to try to steady herself and to steady her head from all the spinning.  They definitely had been taken out of the pod too soon. They shouldn't have woken alone and it likely meant that proper preparations hadn't been made either.  "I don't know if I can keep going," she spoke honestly as she sucked in a breath. "You might have to go on without me."

 

"You're supposed to protect me."

 

And she had sworn it.

 

Her eyes darted to the child for a moment as she pulled up every bit of strength she had in that moment.  If she could only get them somewhere safe, then maybe she could just rest a bit. "This...looks...familiar," she pushed out slowly and lowly with each step she took.  It was like deja vu was hitting her hard. Why did she feel like she knew the place? Was she just losing it? Was her body shutting down? Was it just confusion? 

 

If she failed--

 

The footfalls and...there was another sound that was so familiar, but she couldn't place...but they sounded more like booming in her head.  Whoever was there too was close. She immediately whipped around a corner and engaged her enemy, adrenaline suddenly pumping and propelled her forward.  Her weapon went off twice before it was knocked out of her hands. Her fists immediately came up and swung her opponent. 

  
There was shouting.  

 

She was trying to keep the child in between her body and the wall.  

 

The shouting continued, but she couldn't hear the words.  She was barely holding it together, the edges of her vision were already black and were threatening to fully taken her.  She pushed it back, though. 

 

The wind was knocked out of her as she was pinned against a wall and an arm came across her throat.  

 

"Stop!  Please! Stop!" the child screamed.

 

"Stand down!" came another voice.

 

It was too late, though, the darkness set in.  She blinked rapidly as her body sunk to the ground.  She was welcoming unconsciousness, but it was like she was hallucinating suddenly as she blinked her last time.  "Kara?" she breathed. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

 


	2. Oh, Alex...

The song that was being hummed broke through the darkness.  She could feel herself waking up, though as the pain set in she wasn't sure if it was really something that she welcomed.  Blinking, she slowly found the world around her coming into focus...the eyes looking at her, the colors, the sounds, the touches, and the pain.  Bright blue eyes stared down at her and she could see the happiness suddenly fill them. The words out of her own mouth, though, weren't in greeting or thanks, but rather in worry...concern…  "Ayrdaen," she blurted out, trying to sit up. She was held down.

 

"Alex," she was told gently.  "You need to rest."

 

"Ayrdaen," Alex repeated urgently.

 

"Is that the name of the little girl?"

 

Alex nodded.

 

"She's safe, Alex," Kara whispered.  She could see the confusion in her sister's eyes, but then also tears forming in them.  Alex didn't know if they were happy or sad tears, just that they were tears. "So are you…"  Kara's fingers moved along the braid that rested against her scrubs clad shoulder, Alex looked over at her sister's fingers and then looked up at Kara.  "Your hair…"

 

"How long has it been for you?" Alex questioned quietly.  Pain was radiating throughout her body and she was doing her best to mask it from her voice.  

 

"F--for me?" 

 

"I was pulled from time...but I didn't know I was coming back--back here..."

 

"It's been nine weeks and three days, Alex," Kara whispered.  Alex didn't miss that her sister sounded almost heartbroken at the admission of information.  

 

"Two years, one week, and four days," Alex told her.  "I don't know how long we were in the pod."

 

Tears fell down Kara's cheeks, which Alex immediately reached up and brushed away.  Kara smiled then. "You know, you being whisked away to another time and sleeping in a pod isn't going to catch up with all that time I was in the Phantom Zone," she teased.

 

Alex beamed at that.  "I missed you."

 

"I missed you."  Kara leaned down and pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead before straightening once again.  "How about you not go away again, okay?"

 

"I didn't mean to," Alex admitted.  "I was taken."

 

"By whom?" 

 

"You're awake!" came another voice from behind Kara.  "Oh  _ Alex _ !"

 

Alex blinked and found her mother moving towards her quickly.  She was sitting on the other side of her bed before anything more could be said.  "Mom," she breathed. Her mother was hugging her and Alex felt like she was in a state of shock...it took Alex a good minute before she wrapped her arms around her mother, closed her eyes, squeezed, and breathed in every bit of sensory detail she'd forgotten.  "Mom," she whispered again and tears came to her eyes. So many years she'd fought with her mom or just been on bad terms...and then she hadn't realized how much she'd miss her after reconnecting with her, it had been a little over two years but it felt like she'd truly lost her mother for a lifetime.  Alex didn't want to go one more day without her family.

 

"You're home," her mother whispered.

 

As much as National City was her home, as much as the DEO was her home, as much as Kara was her father (and her mother...and even her father…), Midvale was always home still in her mind.  Their house, where she and Kara grew up together, that would always be this ultimate definition of home. They said that home was where the heart is, but Alex's heart was always holding onto happy times when they were a family of four in Midvale.  

 

The pain was gone, she realized, but she still felt wrong.  "I just wish I wasn't such a disappointment," she whispered.  

 

"Alex, you're not--"

 

As her mother pulled back to look down at her, Alex could see the expression on face change in an instant.  She knew--

 

"Something's wrong!" her mother said quickly.  "Alex, Alex, Sweetheart...you  _ hold on _ !  We're going to figure out what's wrong…"

 

Doctors were rushing in, all of them, she knew but they couldn't help her.  She closed her eyes, knowing what was about to come. 

 

Her promise to Ayrdaen.

 

A sob bubbled up inside of her.  Her eyes opened again and instead of a doctor in her face (they were still looming nearby), she found familiar dark eyes staring back at her.  "You came back for me," Alex whispered, a wave of relief washing over her. "Take care of Arydaen."

 

"You hold on."

 

"I don't think I can, the pod opened too soon…"

 

"Pod?" J'onn questioned.  

 

She opened her mouth to say something, the world went silent around her.  Alex couldn't push the words out of her mouth. It was like she was slowly lifting out of her own body, but then she suddenly felt like she was being tethered in place.  She blinked, J'onn's fingers against her temples. 

 

"Show me, Alex…" he whispered.

 

Closing her eyes, she didn't let go...instead she opened the floodgates.  She opened her mind for him to see every single detail of her life. 

 

Her parents.

 

Midvale.

 

Happy times.

 

Kara.

 

Her father's death.

 

Her grief.

 

Her and Kara.

 

Science.

 

Mistakes.

 

Chaos.

 

Pride.

 

The DEO.

 

Family.

 

The future.

 

Cadmus.

 

Ayrdaen.

 

Kara.

 

Her mother.

 

Him.

 

"Oh, Alex," she eventually heard him whisper, a mix of emotions filling J'onn's voice right before she blacked out.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  
  



	3. Doctor Danvers

"Run!"

 

Her heart was pounding, fear and worry had already taken up residence in her tightened chest.  She reached out for Ayrdaen, but couldn't find her. Panic took over and her head spun. 

 

They were coming…

 

"Ayrdaen!  Ayrdaen, it's not safe!  Please! Please come out!"

 

It was black all around her.  She didn't know where to look.  She didn't know where to go. All she knew was that they were coming and that they needed to get out of there.  The sound...they were  _ so  _ close.   _ Too close _ .  She thought she heard Ayrdaen and turned in hopes to grab the girl, but when she swung back around she came face to face with what she'd been desperately trying to distance herself from.  

  
  
  


 

"Alex!  Alex! Wake up!" 

 

Her eyes snapped open and she tried to bolt from the bed, but she was held down.  Panic was rampant in her body. Her chest pounding with panic, she was hyperventilating unable to catch her breath, her eyes darted around the room, and the sound of her own heartbeat pounded her ears.  "Ayrdaen," she managed to get out before struggling to breathe. 

 

"Breathe...Sweetie...calm down...look at me."

 

But all she could do was worry and look for Arydaen, wanting to see for herself that the girl was safe.  She struggled against her mother's hold, but then her mother took both hands to either side of her face and held her so that their eyes finally met.  Her mother's eyes were so blue. 

 

" _ Breathe _ , Alex," her mother ordered.  

 

Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to focus on calming.  It wasn't easy, not with what she had felt like was so real still circling her head.  She could feel the tears forming, ones that she had wanted to keep back. 

 

Her mother was smoothing her hair and then pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "Shh...you're safe. You're _ home _ .  You're with your family," her mother whispered.  

 

As she stared at her mother, her breathing steadying, she wondered if they'd found out what was wrong with her.  That she was slowly dying. Alex wished that she hadn't brought that burden back with her...that her mother didn't have to watch her die…  She blinked a few times, focusing on her mother for a moment. "I'm sorry…"

 

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

 

"I'm dying, Mom…"

 

"You're just sick."

 

Alex smiled a little, not because she was amused but just at her mother's insistent faith that things would be okay.  "I studied it for well over a year...there's no cure...that's why I was put in the pod...so that I could be woken up when they found a cure."

 

"And Ayrdaen?  She doesn't seem sick."

 

"To keep her safe."

 

Her mother just nodded in silence for a moment.  She pressed her hand to Alex's heart. "You have always had the biggest heart...have protected us all...even when maybe we didn't need it…"  She paused. "But right now, you need to focus on _ you _ . I need you to stay positive."

 

"Mom, I'm just happy I get to see you again…"

 

"Why don't you tell me about this virus--"

 

"Mom---"

 

"Humor me, Alex," her mother said with a smile as she brushed her cheek.  

 

"It was made by Cadmus," she started.  "It's what killed the future version of myself.  It's rampant. I have no idea how Ayrdaen doesn't have it, she's been exposed to it enough."

 

"Tell me more," Eliza insisted.  "Maybe it won't help, but it'll make me feel like I can maybe save you...and right now, I need that…"  She paused for a moment as she smiled down at Alex. "You know, you're not the _ only  _ Doctor Danvers in this family…"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC…

  
  



	4. Family

"I don't like Earth."

 

Alex wasn't surprised by this response.  They'd lived on another planet for so long and that was all that Ayrdaen remembered of growing up thus far.  "You'll get used to it."

 

"I want to go back to Thoron."

 

"It's the  _ past _ , Ayrdaen, the Thoron that you know doesn't yet exist...they have to go through changes in government and start to be more accepting of people that aren't Thorian, which means you...and me."  Alex didn't know how she was going to do this...to leave Ayrdaen in someone else's care. It felt like she'd failed in so many ways. She needed to talk to J'onn, but she wasn't sure how Kara and her mother would take the truth.  Her worry was bubbling, especially because she didn't know how much time she had left. "You remember what we talked about? If someone asks you who you are? Where you're from?"

 

Ayrdaen looked irritated at her questions.  "Yes… I'm Ayrdaen M'rynn, I'm a Kryptonian that was lost until I landed on Thoron and you took care of me before we came here."

 

"Good," Alex whispered before closing her eyes for a moment.  "The only person that probably knows who you really are is J'onn…"

 

"Because he reads minds freely?"

 

She smiled a little at that.  Alex had wondered if before she knew who he was, if he had kept tabs on her.  He had to have. He likely still did. As much as it could be seen as an invasion of privacy, she understood the circumstances of it.  "I remember him over me...him asking me to show him about the pod before I passed out in medical."

 

"He keeps giving me looks," Ayrdaen said.  

 

"He has to know."

 

"Do we trust him?  Can we?"

 

"No matter the time we are in," Alex whispered as she opened her eyes to look at the little girl next to her.  "One thing is sure. We can  _ always _ trust him.  He's our family."

 

Ayrdaen nodded and was quiet for a moment.  "What about Kara and Eliza?"

 

"They don't know...they might not understand," Alex said, trying to choose her words wisely.   "But they are still our family, Ayrdaen, and you need to  _ remember  _ that."

 

"They are  _ your  _ family," Ayrdaen fired back.

 

Alex sighed and then closed her eyes for a moment, covering her face as the pain continued to cloud her head.  She dropped them a moment later and opened her eyes a moment later knowing that she didn't have that much time, it was likely Ayrdaen knew that as well.  Being out of stasis only meant that she was going to get sicker at an increased rate, which was going to hurt everyone else...and it meant that she had no control over it.  "Sweetheart--"

 

"I don't like it when you call me that," Ayrdaen said quickly.  She was grumpy and Alex wasn't surprised. 

 

There had always been some tension between them.  Alex was certain that the same tension had been there when her future self had taken care of Ayrdaen as well.  If she was going to die because of what Cadmus unleashed on the future, on her...then she had hoped to at least leave that world leaving some kind of good mark on Ayrdaen, but it didn't seem like that was happening no matter what she did.  "I'm sorry."

 

"I'm not Kara--"

 

"Oh, I know…"  Ayrdaen rolled her eyes and Alex didn't miss it.  "I've told you stories...and I hope that they make you feel less alone."

 

"I'm not alone."

 

"But do you know that?   _ Really know that _ ?"

 

"I have J'onn."

 

"It's not just J'onn you have here."

 

"Yes it is," Ayrdaen said as she looked directly at her.  

 

Alex watched as Ayrdaen's face changed from irritated and almost nasty expression to a concerned one as her head turned.  She moved her head to look in the direction that the girl was looking now and found J'onn standing there in the doorway. There'd likely been a conversation that she'd not been apart of that had gone on in just a moment.  

 

"What is going on over here?" her mother asked, coming up behind J'onn.

 

How could she tell her mother?  How could she explain? 

 

She sucked in a breath, the pain radiating throughout her entire being and Alex wondered in that moment if this was how her future self had felt before she'd died.  There had been so much time that she'd studied what was killing her, but she'd never figured out a way to combat it...to cure it… The edges of her vision started to darken and her head was spinning, she opened her mouth to say things, but no words came out.  Arms picked her up and she strained to focus on the face the arms belonged to.

 

J'onn.

 

She wanted to tell him that it was useless.  No matter what anyone wanted to do to stretch time...or to attempt to save her would be done in vain.  

 

_ You're not going to die _ , she heard in her head, his words...his voice.

 

He was wrong.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC...


	5. Trust

**Two Years and One Week and Four Days Earlier…**

 

Alex had somehow found herself separated from her DEO team, it was dark with only the light of her flashlight illuminating the trees surrounding her.  They'd gotten a tip that there was a Cadmus lab right outside of National City. They'd come in from afar, through the trees...and it was like she was in the middle of everyone and then she wasn't...and in that moment, Alex didn't know how it had all happened.  It was more than disorientating as she struggled to find some sign of where her team was...but she saw no one, no lights, nothing…

 

_ Alex… _

 

His voice came into her head as her hand moved to her radio, but she still nearly instantly.  Her thoughts came a mile a minute, questions at the forefront, but before she could even think them...she saw him standing there a few yards away.  Last she knew J'onn was back at the DEO running things, it wasn't in the plan for him to join as Martian Manhunter. She took a step towards him and then stopped. 

 

There was something different about him, but she couldn't quite place what it was.

 

"I've come to take you home, Alex," he finally spoke up.  

 

Home?

 

"What about Cadmus?" she countered.  Even though she'd been separated from the others, there was no way that they could have already taken down the lab and finished everything up.  On top of it all, she wanted to be there herself. What if her father had been there? What if someone had seen him? No matter how much Alex had tried to write off her father from her life, she just couldn't...he would always be her father…

 

"That's not the priority."

 

Alex blinked in confusion.  "What is?" she pushed. He didn't respond.  Enough silence had passed and it was just another red flag.  Things just weren't adding up to her. This wasn't her J'onn.  Raising her weapon at him, she sucked in a breath and tried to steady herself.  "Who are you?"

 

He seemed nearly unphased, just a slight tilt of his head.   _ You know exactly who I am, Alex.  I've come to take you home. We need you.  Please… _

 

Though his words were in her head and not tumbling out of his mouth, there was power behind each word...and it was so much more...there was emotion and she felt it all.  It was like Alex could tell that it was J'onn even though everything inside of her said something was wrong and she couldn't keep her weapon up, instead she relaxed and allowed it to down to aim towards the ground.  "Okay," she said with a nod. Alex just couldn't explain it, her trust of him even though the inside of her was still screaming that he wasn't J'onn. 

 

_ You have to trust me, Alex. _

 

He moved towards her and he reached out his hand towards her.  It was then that Alex started to notice differences. He was J'onn, she knew that...but this J'onn...he was older…he was scarred...and she could sense this mix of pain, love, and hope like it was radiating from him.  "I'll  _ always _ trust you, J'onn."  She wanted to ask him questions, though he probably already knew that and he probably already knew what those questions were.

 

_ This is not where you stop, Cadmus, Alex. _

 

And she was intrigued by that statement.  

 

_ Jeremiah can still be saved, but not like this...not here...not now. _

 

Not now.

 

For so many years, all she'd wanted was for her father to be alive.  Once she'd found that that was true, but that he had gone dark side working with Cadmus...she'd tried to save him...redeem him...but then she'd also told herself that she had to give him up...that the man that they kept running into really wasn't her father anymore.  In reality, Alex couldn't just give up on her father that she remembered to be such a good man. So this...what J'onn was telling her...Alex wondered if it was because he knew her too well or if it were the truth. 

 

She still trusted him.

 

And she went with him.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

 


	6. The Future

**Two Years Earlier…**

  
  


Two weeks had passed.

 

The first few days had been overwhelming, but also intriguing.  Alex had gone with J'onn and she'd ended up in the future, though it wasn't like it was two hundred years...it was still difficult because as much as she'd been told about life in that time...there was so much that J'onn refused to tell her.  

 

They were on the planet Thoron, J'onn and M'gann just kept insisting that they were there because it was the safest place for them.  She'd been told that Earth was still around, though things weren't better on it (world peace definitely hadn't been achieved). They wouldn't tell her about her family though, Kara or her mother.  She'd not brought up her father since they weren't even telling her about Kara or her mother. It just didn't seem worth it. They wouldn't tell her about the DEO. They wouldn't tell her why they'd brought her from the past, but she had a hunch that her future self was dead.  

 

She was staring out a window when J'onn approached her.  He spoke, which she'd noticed in the two weeks that she'd been there that there wasn't a lot of speaking that went on.  Alex was certain that J'onn and M'gann were telepathically communicating unless they were addressing her. "I know you're--"

 

"Irritated?" Alex practically snapped as she turned fully towards him.  "Confused. Pissed off--"

 

"I know you have questions," J'onn continued calmly.   
  
His voice was almost too calm for Alex and she couldn't keep the snap out of her voice.  "Which you  _ refuse _ to answer!  It's been  _ two weeks _ !   _ Why am I here? _ "

 

"I should start from the beginning…"

 

"As long as I get my answers."

 

He motioned for her to sit nearby, but she merely crossed her arms and stared at him in response instead.  "I didn't want Ayrdaen to grow up without her mother...and I didn't ask M'gann or Ayrdaen before I went to get you…"

 

Alex blinked, trying to process what was being said, it didn't feel like it was from the beginning, but she assumed that he'd continue until her questions were answered.  

 

"A few years after I took you from your time, there was a group of us...of DEO agents that were taken by Cadmus," J'onn explained.  "What they did there...that was what impacted everything for us...for the rest of the world as well."

 

"Kara and my mother are dead, aren't they?" Alex asked, her voice already choked with emotion as she felt like she already knew the answer.

 

"I know that Eliza is for sure, but am unsure if Kara is as well...but I think I would have seen some sign of her by now if she had made it off of Earth alive."  He paused before continuing. "Kara was the one who found us...got us out...but Cadmus released a deadly virus that remained dormant for some time after we were freed.  They called it the Norsoi Virus," J'onn said. "You and Eliza worked for some time to try to find a cure, even going so far as to trying to find Jeremiah…"

 

"But?"

 

"The virus wasn't all that Cadmus was responsible for.  There was another project, Demigod, that they were also using our people for," J'onn continued.  His voice sounded almost sadder now. "There were four of our people that were had their own egg used with alien DNA to create what Cadmus thought would be hybrid children that they could train as super soldiers.  They used my DNA with my Alex's...and our child was the only one who survived Cadmus, survived Norsoi, and what was left of Earth…"

 

It felt like it was starting to make sense now.  "Ayrdaen?"

 

"Ayrdaen M'rynn," he confirmed.  "She was one of the reasons we left Earth...and we thought that we'd escaped the virus...but it was still inside of Alex…"  He looked away. "We don't know what triggered it...and she worked so hard to figure out how to cure it so that she could watch Ayrdaen grow up...but three weeks ago I finally had to let her go…"

 

"I'm not Ayrdaen's mother," she whispered.  Being a mother was something that Alex wanted, but this was something that would come in her future.

 

"She's so little, Alex," J'onn explained as he turned back to her.  "I thought this would be for the best…"

 

"I don't think M'gann agrees…"

 

"No, she doesn't."

 

"But your Alex...your Alex and I weren't more than co-parents, right?" Alex asked because with how he spoke, the emotion behind it...it made her ask the question just because she wanted to know.  This might be the only time she'd get answers and she wanted to get as many as she could.

 

"You have always been so much more to me, Alex," J'onn said.  "You...when Jeremiah told me to watch over you...you were what gave me purpose to continue here on Earth...you gave me hope."  He paused, as if to go on was too painful. "I felt a hole with my Alex's death...something that felt like it couldn't be repaired...but we were not romantic…"  He sighed. "And I think that my inability to move past the grief I still feel is why M'gann is so upset about this…"

 

"How old is Ayrdaen?" she asked gently.  She and J'onn were family, there was a bond there that nothing was ever going to erase.  Alex felt like there was some comfort in knowing that that wasn't going to leave them...but she'd not wanted him to be so broken up about her death (especially with them knowing that the virus would kill her, they would have had time to prepare for her future self's passing).  

 

"She's three and a half," J'onn informed her.  "I couldn't bring myself to tell her, but--"

 

"But she's half Green Martian, so she could already know?"

 

He was quiet for a long moment before speaking up to answer her question.  "We aren't entirely sure the exact telepathic abilities that Ayrdaen possesses…  Alex had been trying to figure it out, but she can definitely project feelings. The rest might come as she grows…"

 

Alex wanted to go on with more questions while he was talking, but she was concerned about Ayrdaen (even though she'd never yet met her).  "Ayrdaen's name...her middle name reminds me of your father's, Myr'nn." 

 

"My Alex wanted something similar," J'onn told her.  

 

There very much was this lessening of tension in the air between them.  Maybe he'd just wanted to talk about the Alex that he'd lost. But she'd been told that she'd been needed there...J'onn didn't want Ayrdaen to grow up without a mother.  "You and M'gann are together in this future, aren't you?" she asked. 

 

"Yes."

 

"So, why not allow M'gann to be a mother to Ayrdaen?"  As much as she wanted to be a mother, she didn't know how she could be a mother to her future child...there were so many questions.  Would her being there mean that there would be no longer a future her? Was it just an alternate timeline that they'd now made up? Would she even be able to bond with Ayrdaen?  Would Ayrdaen even accept her? How would she know to be the right kind of mother? Could she even make it work co-parenting with J'onn and M'gann?

 

There was silence between the two of them.

 

"At least meet her?" J'onn requested gently.

 

"What if I want to go home?" 

 

"Ayrdaen needs you here," J'onn insisted.  There was a beat that passed and his tone softened and quieted.  "If you want to go home...I'm not sure how I can get you back to your time."

 

"You got me here…"

 

"The device burnt out upon us getting here," J'onn explained.  "Before you knew that Jeremiah was still alive and with Cadmus, tell me, Alex...if you could have pulled him from time to have him again...would you have?"

 

She opened her mouth to argue with him, but no words spilled out.  Alex couldn't argue that. All she could think of was herself when she'd first lost her father.  How different would her life had been if she'd had him in it all these years? How different for her mother and for Kara?  There were so many variables and so much that might have changed and so much that likely wouldn't… Maybe she would have become a scientist in a lab just like her parents…  Now, she wouldn't have wanted to change that, but maybe growing up with her father...with both of her happy parents...maybe she would have been content in life without knowing.

 

Though she didn't know all the details, she knew that Ayrdaen was a lucky girl having three parents to raise her (or would have, if her future self had lived), to help her through every difficult period in time, and watch her grow into a woman that would truly be far more than any of them could dream of.  She still didn't know entirely how she felt about the situation though. Drawing in a deep breath before slowly pushing it out, Alex looked over at J'onn. "I think I'm ready to meet her now."

 

J'onn just simply gave a slight nod before motioning in a direction of the house that she'd yet to be in.  She'd not given it too much thought over the two weeks, but had instead soaked in the planet and what reading materials she could get her hands on.  There had been the slightest moments here and there where she'd doubted her decision to go with J'onn, knowing that he wasn't exactly her version of him...but she still knew that she could trust him even if he hadn't given her all of the information.  There was a good chance that he was still holding things back. She knew that. She accepted that. Alex still needed to meet Ayrdaen.

 

A door opened and Alex finally set her eyes upon the child that was her future (maybe...or maybe they'd changed things).  M'gann had seemed to be in the middle of teaching the girl when they both looked directly at her. Ayrdaen was a tiny thing, she was absolutely gorgeous and Alex knew she'd be absolutely brilliant.  There were so many ways that Ayrdaen took after J'onn...his human form. Alex hadn't been sure what to expect with a child being able to shiftshape, though J'onn had said that they had no idea what Green Martian abilities she had...or what she might grow into.  

 

"Mama!" Ayrdaen shouted as she popped up.  Her black curls bounced as she moved towards Alex, her face completely lit up.  

 

Alex didn't know what to do except to kneel down in order to be at eye level with Ayrdaen.  Emotions were overcoming her and she wasn't sure why...if they were her own emotions or if they'd been projected inside of her.  In that moment, she didn't care. It didn't matter. Ayrdaen ran right into her before wrapping her arms around Alex, holding her tight, her chin resting on Alex's shoulder.  Instinctively, Alex wrapped her arms around the girl and squeezed. Her eyes closed and she just took in that moment. Being a mother was something that she had known that she had wanted and in this moment, she knew it really was what she wanted...that any doubt she'd had before...that it was all now balanced.

 

"I missed you--" Ayrdaen started to say before gasping and pulling back.  She stared at Alex with wide dark eyes. "You're not Mama…"

 

In that moment, Alex saw so much sadness in Ayrdaen.  The realization… At three and a half years, they couldn't trick this little girl.  In her future child, she saw so much…

 

"Ayrdaen," Alex finally spoke up, hoping to think of something that would smooth things over...or at least comfort her.

 

"You don't say it right."

 

Blinking, Alex tried to take in the meaning that Ayrdaen was giving.  

 

"My name…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I can get chapter 7 done tonight. I've been trying to post one every day, but I have yet to have the time to actually write today. :) We'll see tomorrow though!


	7. Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took longer...but it's also the longest chapter yet!

**Two Years Earlier…**

  
  


M'gann was not happy about this, not at all, that was clear as day to Alex.  Ayrdaen had been ushered off by M'gann to her room to play, but M'gann had stayed behind.  There was a talk imminent. The tension was thick and Alex had wished that she could just side step out of the room so as not to be in the middle of it all.

 

The room filled with an angry silence before there was a word spoken.

 

"I told you that this was cruel to Ayrdaen," M'gann said, controlled anger filled her tone as she pointed her conversation towards J'onn.  "You should have discussed this with me before you even thought about going back there...you have _ no idea _ what you may have done to the timeline...and I don't think that you _ care _ ...or even  _ thought _ about it."  Then M'gann looked over at her, the fire that filled her eyes really made Alex wish that she wasn't present for this.  "You were too grief stricken over  _ her _ to even think about your daughter!   _ Our daughter _ !  We agreed that I would have decisions in raising Ayrdaen, just as if she were biologically mine!"  M'gann's anger flipped back to J'onn, not letting a beat pass. "We  _ knew _ that Alex would die.  We knew that day was coming, but you  _ held on _ ...you  _ foolishly _ held on...even after all of the deaths we've seen!  Why couldn't you just  _ let her go _ ?"

 

It hit Alex in that moment that that was the most that she'd heard them verbally argue since she'd arrived there.  She wondered if M'gann had just wanted her to hear it all. Alex hadn't really had a choice in it, well...she had...but for her it was more of a trust or don't trust...and all she could think was to trust him.  

 

" _ I don't know _ !" J'onn practically exploded.  " _ I just couldn't _ !"

 

"You've spent  _ so many years _ feeling a certain affinity for her," M'gann continued on.  "You don't  _ need _ her in our lives to live, J'onn--"

 

Her eyes caught something between the arguing, though.

 

"Ayrdaen," Alex spoke up.  

 

The girl was standing in the shadows of the hallway and maybe it was all of the yelling, but Alex was surprised that they hadn't thought about that...but perhaps this was the first time they'd had a conflict that was loud and verbal...or maybe they were just too focused not to have sensed Ayrdaen.  

 

"It's okay," she said quietly, trying to immediately console the girl from the other side of the room even though she wasn't entirely sure if Ayrdaen was upset over the argument.  Alex just knew that it never felt good to see your parents argue. "We hadn't meant to be so loud."

 

"I want my  _ real  _ Mama," Ayrdaen voiced.   

 

It broke her heart that she couldn't be that for Ayrdaen.  Maybe J'onn had been right to pull her there, because if she could have pulled it off...then this would have been worth it.  To be able to bring some comfort to Ayrdaen. But the little girl could sense that she wasn't her mother and Alex didn't know where that would leave her amongst all of the emotions in the room.  "I know, Sweetie," Alex whispered because it seemed like Ayrdaen being there had caught both M'gann and J'onn off guard and they were taking the time to calm themselves down. She ignored them, focusing her attention on the girl.  "Can I tell you a story?"

 

"What kind of story?"

 

"Do you know the story about Supergirl?" Alex asked as she approached Ayrdaen, who tilted her head in quiet response.

 

"You don't know it."

 

That made her smile.  "I do," Alex insisted.  

 

"Not my Mama," Ayrdaen said as she looked away from Alex.

 

Crouching down, Alex just smiled at her.  "Maybe not, but I think I'm pretty close… Can we maybe just talk?  I'll tell you whichever story you want...or even just start at the beginning…"  She knew it had to be confusing for Ayrdaen, but maybe it also gave her some comfort?  Alex could only hope so. 

 

"Okay," Ayrdaen finally spoke up and motioned towards the door behind her.

 

Alex didn't even look back, she just followed after her future daughter.  She took in everything about her that she hadn't seen before. She didn't know how it was exactly possible, but there were parts of Ayrdaen that reminded Alex of J'onn, things she saw of herself in the mirror...and even of her parents.  The more time she spent with Ayrdaen, Alex was sure that she'd see more. 

 

The room that they stepped into was bright, unlike the room Alex had been staying in.  Its walls looked like windows to the outside except they didn't show the outside of Thoron, but instead showed a paradise.  Thoron was beautiful, but this was something more...it was like a three dimensional video desktop screensaver. It reminded her of a place that Kara had told her about when they were children, a planet that she'd visited with her parents.  

 

"It's beautiful," she said before looking over to find Ayrdaen sitting on the bed.  "Your room is nice...so much nicer than mine was when I was your age."

 

"I'm confused."

 

"About?" Alex asked as she moved closer to Ayrdaen's bed.  J'onn and M'gann hadn't come in, so she assumed that they'd have some space.  If there was any further arguing going out beyond the bedroom doors, it seemed like the two of them were likely safe from it.  

 

"You.  Not my mom?" Ayrdaen asked slowly, her head tilting slightly as she asked the question. 

 

Alex took the question and thought seriously about it for a moment.  It was clear that Ayrdaen was bright and who knew what Green Martian abilities that she'd inherited.  She didn't want to talk to her like a baby, even though she was tiny...but she didn't want to talk to her like a fellow colleague either.  She was fairly sure that no matter, time travel was too complicated to explain to someone under five for sure. "Yes...and no," she managed to say.  It was the truth. 

 

"Yes?  No?"

 

"I'm not your mother yet," she put out there, knowing that that had to be even more confusing or equally as so if she explained time travel in full.  "When you're older, you will understand."

 

Ayrdaen stared at her for a long moment, just blinking.  The silence wasn't awkward at all, actually Alex welcomed it and took the chance to take in Ayrdaen further and their surroundings because it told so much.  

 

"So, a story?" Alex offered.  "A Supergirl story. You said I don't know it, but I'm sure I do."  And she hoped that she could keep that statement a truth. As long as it happened in her current span of lifetime, then she was good...not so great if it was past the time J'onn took her.  

 

"Supergirl's Earth birthday."

 

Alex smiled, instantly thrilled that she knew many stories that involved her sister's Earth birthdays.  "Which one?"

 

Ayrdaen didn't seem so thrilled.  She was quiet and Alex wondered if she was now being tested.  "The one you forgot about."

 

Her mouth dropped open and she closed it again as she tried to process what Ayrdaen was saying.  Alex's mind cycled through Kara's Earth birthdays and wondered if it was the last birthday that Ayrdaen was referencing.  "I didn't forget it...not really...I just...our lives were different," Alex said. "I didn't Kara would mind if we celebrated a different day."

 

"But it's her birthday.  Birthdays are important."

 

"My father used to say that."

 

"I know."

 

Alex just stared at Ayrdaen, it was almost trippy at how smart and talkative she was at that age.  "I'm sorry that I'm not your real mom, Ayrdaen," she whispered as she stared into the little girl's eyes.  "I can't be that...not now, at least," Alex told her. "But that doesn't mean that I can't be your family...at least while I'm here."

 

"You're leaving?"

 

"I don't know," she said honestly.

 

"Who will tell me stories?" 

 

Alex smiled at that.  "You know, your dad knows a lot of stories...about your Mom and about Supergirl…  He knows stories about Earth and about Mars."

 

"So does M'gann."

 

"You're right," Alex said with a nod.

 

There was a brief knock before Ayrdaen's bedroom door was open.  J'onn and M'gann were standing there. Alex assumed that this meant that they were done discussing things, mainly  _ her  _ being there.  M'gann still didn't look pleased, but Alex didn't know just yet where this would leave her.  Was J'onn really telling her the truth when he said that it had been a one-way trip? Could she not go back?

 

"We need to talk," J'onn said quietly, obviously talking to her.

 

Alex looked over at Ayrdaen with a smile, she was glad that they got some quiet time even if they really hadn't had that much time.  "Maybe I can think of a story you haven't heard yet."

 

"I've heard a lot of them."

 

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to Ayrdaen's forehead before running her fingers through the girl's dark curls as she stared into her brown eyes.  "I'll be back, okay?" Alex got up and turned, but found her wrist being gripped. She looked from where J'onn and M'gann stood and then turned her head back to look at Ayrdaen.  

 

"Even if you're not Mama, can you still stay on Thoron with me?"

 

Alex felt like her heart was breaking a bit.  She was torn and all she wanted was to assure Ayrdaen that she wouldn't be losing her mother...not again.  Sure, she wasn't exactly her mom, but Alex felt like Ayrdaen knew in some way that Alex was as close as she was going to get to having her mother back again.  She opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn't even sure what it would be when she found herself cut off before words could even fall from her own mouth.

 

"Sweetie, why don't you let your dad and I talk to Alex right now and we can talk about things later okay?" M'gann said.  She moved up besides Alex, her attention on Ayrdaen, and then kissed the girl's cheek before grabbing Alex by her upper arm.

 

Normally, she'd argue or at the very least pull her arm free from M'gann's hold, but she didn't want to bring anymore tension or upset to Ayrdaen.  So, she allowed M'gann to guide her back out into the open area they'd been in before. As soon as she heard the bedroom door click shut, she yanked her arm out of M'gann's hold.  

 

"What did you think you were doing in there?" M'gann practically spat.  

 

There was clear anger in M'gann...still.  Alex wondered if it had always been there or if it was just with her future self's passing.  "I was trying to comfort an upset and confused child...a child that's apparently part mine…"

 

"She's not yours!  Ayrdaen's mother died!"  M'gann turned her attention suddenly to J'onn.  "And now that you've selfishly ripped Alex from the past, what does that mean for this time?  Does that mean that Ayrdaen will no longer exist?"

 

"I'm not sure that's exactly how it works," Alex spoke up, which gained her an extra annoyed glare from M'gann.

 

"Any damage is already done," J'onn said evenly, like he was relieved and yet pained.  "We can't go back and change it now."

 

This didn't seem to appease M'gann at all.  Obviously whatever they'd discussed before hadn't been resolved.

 

"What do you plan then moving forward?  Just let her step in as Ayrdaen's mother?" M'gann pushed at J'onn.  

 

"No," J'onn said, his head hanging.  "She already understands that Alex is not her mother, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't be a part of her life."

 

"As what?" M'gann pushed again.  

 

It was clear to her that M'gann wanted answers now and that she preferred if Alex would just stand there and be silent, but she didn't know how much longer she could stay silent.  All she kept thinking about was how sweet Ayrdaen was and that if she did spend the rest of her life on Thoron in the future then she wanted the opportunity to know about the first years that she had no knowledge of.  

 

" _ I don't know _ ," J'onn said finally, frustration clear in his voice.

 

" _ Not _ her mother, certainly," M'gann said.  "And she has  _ no place _ on Thoron.  She will only pull attention to our family, J'onn."

 

"She  _ is  _ part of our family," J'onn insisted.  "She can teach Ayrdaen about Earth and about her traditions and--"

 

"And those are all things that  _ you  _ can teach her," M'gann pointed out.  "You lived there for so long, J'onn… You were close to the Danvers family, you know it.  You know enough--"

 

"You both remember I am standing here, right?" Alex put out there.  She didn't wait for either to say anything before continuing. "Are you  _ sure  _ that I can't go back to my time?"  

 

"I will ask, see if there is another way, but I believe you are stuck here," J'onn said.  

 

That still was hard to hear.  She sucked in a breath and looked at them both.  "Ayrdaen is special, there's no denying that… And though I may not be her real mother, I am still  _ in a way _ her mother...her family at the very least."  She paused. "And I do have experience in raising aliens on a new home planet." 

 

"There is no way you could protect her," M'gann countered.

 

Alex raised an eyebrow at that and crossed her arms over her chest.  "You should remember that I have never been just some scientist in a lab...J'onn trained me.  The DEO was my job--"

 

"The DEO doesn't  _ exist  _ here."

 

"No, but--"

 

"But you're just a  _ human _ !"

 

The way that M'gann said it, it felt like an insult...which Alex felt like was so much worse given that Ayrdaen was a hybrid.  Did M'gann just expect to raise Ayrdaen as a Green Martian child with no knowledge of Earth besides the stories she was told? 

 

"She's a human that I trained to take down the worst alien convicts that escaped Fort Rozz," J'onn said, his voice stronger as he raised his head once again and his eyes touching on them.  "She's more than capable."

 

"So is that what we're deciding?  She's some kind of guard? Some kind of keeper?" M'gann questioned.

 

"Why is the label such an important thing for you?" Alex countered.  It confused her. Why was it so important to decide what her role would be in that moment.

 

"We are not hidden here on Thoron, many we socialize with on a regular basis," M'gann said, this time her voice was calmer.  "But they don't know that Ayrdaen is part human…"

 

And there it was.

 

"The Thorons were not always a people who welcomed outsiders," J'onn explained.  "It has only been in recent years that they have even allowed non-Thorons on their planet...and even more recently that they've allowed a colony of refugees.  It has not been easy… It is odd enough for a Green and a White to be in a relationship...to produce a child, but for a Green and a human? We would have been shunned...and a target may have been put on Ayrdaen."  He paused for a moment. "We knew that coming here...but it was the best option for the safety of all of us. We hid away Alex for a time…" 

 

There were so many secrets…

 

Alex had no idea how she could live in that.  

 

The lies.

 

The cover stories.

 

At the same time, she understood that it wouldn't have just been about her...it was about Ayrdaen, J'onn, and M'gann...and possibly others.  Alex didn't know how she'd feel, though. She'd grown through so many years without her father in her life...she'd never imagined having to live out the remainder of her life without her mother...and without Kara.  Her mind wandered back to Ayrdaen...her face and her words...and just the thought of leaving her (not that that seemed to be a possibility) broke her heart a little.

 

It was then that J'onn's face seemed to soften.  "It was not easy...but it took us some time to introduce Alex into society here," J'onn said.  "It was so difficult for her when we began...to be isolated and to be so grief stricken at the same time."  He paused for a moment, likely processing his own emotions on the subject. "But it became a little easier for her once she moved about a bit more freely…  Thoron is much like Krypton was...and I think that helped because it reminded her of Kara."

 

She didn't know if living there on Thoron for the remainder of her days, living a secret filled life, would get any easier...if it would ease her heart.  It had been about two weeks and she'd been homesick. It hadn't just been missing Kara and her mother, but also her life...National City...the DEO...Vasquez, Winn, Adler, Benanti...and her thoughts had even gone to Maggie.  

 

"I  _ will  _ ask if there's a possibility that I can take you home, Alex,  _ I promise that _ ," J'onn said.  Alex just gave him a slight nod and silence fell between the three of them for a long while before J'onn finally broke it.  "I should check on Ayrdaen." 

 

When J'onn was gone, Alex looked over at M'gann who seemed to be calmer now.  She knew that things were different, that they'd gone through so much...but she had questions.  "Can I ask you something?"

 

"She and I were very open," M'gann said.  "There was only love and joy in this house...until grief consumed it."

 

And there was her question answered.

 

"From when I come from, we're sort of friends...can you and I be that?" Alex questioned.  She didn't think she could live there with the tension. "I know I'm not the Alex that you all lost, but--"

 

"I will  _ try _ ...for Ayrdaen...and J'onn," M'gann told her before leaving.

 

As Alex stood there alone in the open area, all she could think was that it was all something...she didn't know what else she could hope for.  Right now, she supposed all she could do was take it moment by moment and hope… She was about to retreat to her room when she heard the click of Ayrdaen's door, she turned to see J'onn standing there.  

 

"Ayrdaen said that I should remind you of something," J'onn said.

 

Alex blinked for a moment.  Remind her of something? She'd just now met the girl.  "What is it?"

 

_ El mayarah _ .

 

It was something that had only strengthened her bond with Kara, especially after she'd taken up the mantle of Supergirl.  "I guess I had to have Kara with me in some form…"

 

He closed the distance between them and the expression on his face was this mix of happiness and sadness.  "No matter how much distance has separated you from her, you've always had her with you," J'onn said as he placed his hand over where the human heart sat.  "You carry so many...and far too much with you." He paused and smiled. "But that brought my Alex so much happiness… As much as there were secrets, there were so many truths that we shared.  "Before she got sick and confined herself to the house...to her lab, she had started to share stories with many of the people here. Not only of Earth, but of Krypton...the legacy of the House of El...and in a way, you are now the last of that line…"

 

"I'm not Kryptonian…"

 

"Kara wasn't human, but you don't have to be in order to embrace and share a culture...to find similarities…"

 

"So, if she shared stories...what do people think happened to her?  Or are you overselling it and there's only three people who listened?"

 

"They know that she fell sick...and we haven't told anyone that she died," J'onn admitted.  "We still don't know why or how she came down with the virus, it was something she was trying to find before…"

 

Alex nodded.  "So, it won't be so strange for me to go out on Thoron...once I learn more about this place."

 

"No."

 

"Show me her lab at least?" 

 

"It's been sealed…"

 

"You and M'gann didn't catch it...or Ayrdaen."

 

"No, we believe it to only be solely attracted to human DNA," J'onn said as he motioned for her to head to an area she'd yet to be near.  

 

This was a start...a start to somewhere…

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	8. Blind Visits

**Present**

  
  


It was peaceful.

 

There was pain, but then...there wasn't.  

 

Alex knew what this was.  The drugs that were trying to keep her comfortable weren't masking the reality of the situation.  She'd likely been out for some time. The beeping of the machines monitoring her condition sounded so loud when she focused on them.  The Norsoi Virus was still in her system, it was still killing her...she'd finally gotten home only to die. Alex knew that her mother would be doing everything that she could to save her, but Alex knew that it was useless (or at least it very much seemed that way to her).  She felt so heavy, it was from the drugs she knew...she had a weird headache...and she couldn't manage to open her eyes. It was almost overwhelming, Alex hated to lose control (especially of herself). With all of that, she tried to focus on what had given her the feeling of peace.  Drawing in a breath, she pushed it out slowly (or at least that's what it felt like she was doing in her mind). 

 

A voice.

 

"We are never lost, never afraid, for we shrink not under the sun of righteousness."

 

Kara.

 

It wasn't even the voice or the words, but it was feeling...she could feel her sister there.  The love and hope emanating from her sister. Kara had lost so much when she was so small...and all Alex could think in that moment was that she hoped that J'onn would explain everything to her mother and to Kara.  She knew that Kara could teach Ayrdaen so much, not just about Earth but also about hope. 

 

"Rao binds us to those we love, he gives us strength when we have none."

 

Listening to her sister's words, Alex just imagined Kara standing there.  There was something soothing about the prayer even if Alex didn't worship Rao.  Maybe it was Kara's voice, her presence, or maybe it was even the words she was speaking…  

 

"And in the darkest places, he guides us...for Rao sees all, feels all, his love eternal."

 

Focusing on her breathing, slow and steady, she just listened.  Alex allowed herself to enjoy that moment. Kara was holding her hand and though all Alex wanted to do was squeeze it, she couldn't manage it...but she so wanted to just let her sister know that she could hear her.

 

"Rao protect us, so that we might protect others…"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"So, I don't want you to worry about things…  Kara's been saving people still, though, I don't know that I've ever actually seen her tired...it's weird."  The was a pause. "But don't worry...J'onn did that whole space dad thing and ordered her to go take a nap...and eat something."

 

Since Winn had come to work at the DEO, they'd become closer.  Winn had become a friend to her, he wasn't just Kara's friend...and he genuinely felt like part of their family.  He was like the brother that she and Kara had never wanted, but fell in love with just the same. They were all so good for each other and Alex was glad that they had Winn...he was even good for J'onn (though she doubted he would ever admit it).

 

"And J'onn's grumpy...but that's because you're still asleep...and like he and Eliza keep arguing...but that's because they're both concerned about you.  They both want you to be okay...and of course, they're not the only ones…"

 

She could hear tapping.  Alex knew that he probably had a tablet with him or maybe his phone.  It was better to listen to than focusing on the sounds of the medical equipment, less stressful.  She appreciated noise that was different and even wished she was strong enough to ask Winn to put on music for her (she didn't even care what was on).  

 

"You know, that kid, Ayrdaen...she's a funny girl...she tried to pass herself off as Kryptonian.  I bought it, but then I realized one of the reasons Kara didn't… She knows a lot of the basic things, but she doesn't know the language…not enough of it.  Kara just got upset until J'onn showed up and pulled them apart."

 

Ayrdaen had tried to do what Alex had told her to do.  She was only a child, Alex knew that there was only so much she could do.  Kara had to already be upset about Alex being unconscious and about the fact that she didn't have long to live (even if they prolonged her life).  At least it sounded like J'onn had been there to intervene. Him knowing about Ayrdaen made her feel a little less weighted.

 

"I still think she's impressive.  I mean, she's like five or six or something...or maybe she's just short and looks young."  Winn paused again. "Look, I don't know who she exactly is...or why you had her with you. All I know is that we're going to keep her safe because that's what you were trying to do...that's what you would want."  He pause again, a sigh filling the air. "And you know, she's just going to have to deal with J'onn being a grumpy space dad...with a heavy side of grumpy… I'm sure she's tough and can deal with it. I mean, the rest of us are doing it."

 

Even though Winn's voice sounded light and even cheerful about everything he was telling her, she wondered if J'onn was really able to continue with the burden she'd placed on him.  It had never been the plan. She shouldn't have been released from the pod early...she and Ayrdaen should have been kept there until there was a cure for the Norsoi Virus. Alex thought that maybe if she could wake up, maybe she could convince them to put her and Ayrdaen back into the pod...if it still worked properly.  

 

"I think Benanti's trying to keep morale high, she's been bringing double donuts, so you know things are serious around here..."  A beat passed. "Just...get better. I don't care if it's science or alien tech...or even a miracle. Just wake up and be better, Alex.  We all need you."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Alex felt like her head was a whirl of her life on Earth and the last two years on Thoron.  It was the medication, she knew that. Her head wasn't right. If it wasn't the medication, then it was the virus.  Either way, she felt like time was slipping away. 

 

_ Alex _ .

 

J'onn was in her head.  It was a welcome visit. She almost wished that it was like when Kara had been attacked by the Black Mercy and Alex had gone into her sister's head.  If only they could communicate in that way. So, she just tried to concentrate on what she wanted J'onn to know and hoped that he'd understand...that he'd hear her.  She concentrated on Ayrdaen, keeping her image in her head, and thought about keeping her safe. 

 

_ We're here, Alex _ .  

 

And somehow she knew that he meant that it was him and Ayrdaen, they were together there with her.  Alex wondered if that meant that J'onn was keeping her close in order to keep her out of trouble with Kara and to keep a close eye on her.  Though, there was also a possibility that he'd brought in M'yrnn to help with Ayrdaen, maybe another Green Martian would be easier than explaining it to her mother and sister.  

 

_ This isn't right _ .

 

And this time, it wasn't J'onn...it was Ayrdaen…

 

All of the sudden, Alex found herself pulled on a ride through memories that were hers...but not quite  _ yet  _ hers…  

 

They were Ayrdaen's memories of when she was smaller...of from before Alex met her in the future.  They were on Thoron, Alex immediately recognized that...in a park that she'd taken Ayrdaen to on several occasions.  Her future self had longer hair that was braided off to the side, a tiny Ayrdaen was sitting in her arms as she sat on the blanket, M'gann was dishing up food, and J'onn was talking about something that was making them all laugh the most contagious laugh...even Ayrdaen.  It was like the most precious bottled moment of happiness, even without the context of the laughter...it was something to treasure. 

 

_ Home _ .

 

And Alex felt like there was so much more behind Ayrdaen's meaning.  It felt like it meant that home was that moment for the girl, not just Thoron and those were her parents.  Though, Alex was certain that Ayrdaen was much rather be on Thoron with J'onn and M'gann. But maybe Ayrdaen was understanding that home didn't have to be a specific place...or even specific people…  When Alex was younger, home for her was always the happy memories of her family all together right before her father 'died'. 

 

Home was always important.

 

So was family.

 

She'd always tried to tell Ayrdaen stories about Kara and J'onn...and adventures she and Kara had when they were little.  She talked about her parents, the good times and the rocky times. Alex had thought it was important to tell Ayrdaen all about the family she'd never know...if nothing else, maybe it would teach her more about her human side and Earth.  

 

Focusing on a memory of her own, Alex hoped that it was how you shared something with Green Martians.  She thought about a time right before she'd thought she'd lost her father. She and Kara were actually getting along and her parents were happy together.  They were in Midvale, it was a perfect sunny warm day, nice enough to go to the beach together...something that they didn't do enough. Her parents had packed a picnic and it had been a rare day where they'd just spent the entire day together smiling and laughing.  

 

Home, she thought.

 

But Alex pushed another thought into her mind.  Another memory. Something that she needed to share, to show Ayrdaen.  She chose a more current memory, one that took place in National City. It was a night that she, Kara, J'onn, Winn, and James were all together at the alien bar.  It wasn't anything special, they were just drinking and eating together. That moment, though, they were happy and together and that's all that mattered.

 

Home, she thought again.

 

Home and family could be more than one place...more than one group of people.  Alex felt like it was so important for Ayrdaen to know that. Even if she was gone, she could have a home...she could have a family there in that timeline with J'onn, Kara, her mother, Winn, and...well, anyone that J'onn felt would help keep her safe.  She was going to die and the future that Ayrdaen came from was never going to happen.

 

_ Don't give up _ .   _ Not yet _ .

 

J'onn's voice in her head was the last thing she heard before she slipped back into the dark void.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"Are you supposed to be in here?"

 

"Have a donut, Vasquez."

 

"A donut isn't going to change things if we're supposed to be letting her rest."

 

Alex could clearly hear that Vasquez had snagged a donut from Benanti's box.  She wished that she could wake up and have one, she'd have to tell Benanti that she owed her one (or a whole box) if she ever woke up and felt like she could actually eat one again.  No matter how much she wished she could have a donut now, it was nice to have a variety of visitors even if she wasn't good company. It made her feel a little more like she got to see everyone again (even if she technically wasn't).  

 

"What are you two doing in here?"

 

If she could have smiled, she would have in that moment.  Adler was there now. She'd probably been looking for her wife and probably hadn't expected to find her hanging out with Vasquez at her bedside.  

 

"Keeping Danvers up to date on what's going on," Vasquez said.

 

Now Benanti was speaking, with what sounded like her mouth full (probably of donut).  "As morale officer--"

 

"You're not the morale officer," Adler countered her wife.

 

A beat passed.

 

"As morale officer," Benanti started again, this time her voice sounded clear.  "It is my job to check in on Agent Danvers and obviously...to remind her that she's not allowed to have some deadly virus because that makes the boss and Supergirl far too cranky...and they're no fun to deal with when they're cranky.  I think I've gained ten pounds because of all the extra donuts in the last couple of weeks."

 

Weeks.

 

Had it been that long? 

 

No wonder she felt like she had no strength.

 

Whatever they were doing had to be barely keeping her tethered to the world...to life.

 

"C'mon you two," Adler said.  "Let her rest. The boss is probably wondering where we went off to anyways, we need to get ready for that op."

 

And then they were gone and she was alone.

 

Weeks...

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"I wish they'd stored the research you'd done on the virus in that pod with you," she heard her mother say.

 

Alex thought that if her mother only knew how long she'd worked on it (and how long her future self had...and her future mother...and who knew who else had also worked on it) that maybe she would have realized how futile it was.  Nonetheless, she didn't mind listening to her mother talk in that moment. She'd missed it. 

 

"I'm going to figure it out."

 

She wouldn't.

 

"I need help, though…"

 

And there was something in her mother's voice that made Alex worry.  

 

"It's never right for a parent to lose a child...and I won't lose you."  

 

There was so much pain and fear in her mother's voice as it broke.  She could feel her mother's hand on her face and then her lips as she kissed her forehead.  Alex so wished that things could be different, but so many had tried...and so many had failed...and died.

 

"I tried to explain to J'onn and Kara, but they don't understand...and you probably wouldn't either, but I have to try to do whatever I can, Alex.  I won't lose you."

 

And she wished she could make her death easier on her mother...on her family, but death was not an easy thing.  Death was cruel, even when it seemed merciful. Alex just wanted to spare those she loved pain and to understand that it was okay to let her go.  Maybe if Ayrdaen had been closer to her, then maybe it would be easier for everyone...because her mother and Kara would have Ayrdaen to focus and love with her gone.  There was so much, though, that felt wrong and made Alex worry about how people would be after they finally let her go.

 

"All I've ever wanted since the moment I knew I was pregnant with you, Alex, was to keep you safe...to protect you...and I promised myself I'd do anything to do that.  J'onn's trained you to take care of yourself...but right now...right now I'm going to do what I think I need to in order to save you...and I hope you forgive me."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It had been quiet and she'd been in and out of the half consciousness she'd been in.  She was still too weak to move or open her eyes. Alex had been pulled closer to consciousness, though, when it sounded like all hell was breaking out in the DEO.  Instinct made her try to wake up and get into gear to help...but she couldn't do anything but listen and hope that everything was okay. 

 

"Hurry!"

 

It was her mother's voice.

 

But it was the weapon's fire that caught her attention and made her heart race.  There was nothing Alex could do, but listen...listen and hope that her mother was safe.  She could hear the monitors echoing her upset and fear, the beeping that she'd drowned out before was quick and in sync with the pounding in her ears.  

 

"We have to hurry," her mother said to someone else who was in the room.  Alex hadn't heard another voice, but had assumed that it was one of the other DEO agents that was securing the medical bay.  "I'm afraid if they stop us that we'll really lose her…"

 

"That's not going to happen."

 

And she immediately recognized the other voice.  It wasn't a DEO agent...it wasn't anyone who should have been in the DEO and she immediately understood why there was so much chaos going on.  Her mother had voiced her wanting to do  _ anything _ to save her and she'd certainly gone to the last person that Alex would have asked for help when it came to the virus.

 

"This is going to work."

 

He sounded so confidant and Alex was just flat out terrified.  Not for what was going on in that room, but that her mother had gone to such lengths and had to have used a sample of the virus to replicate anything that might fight it.  The timeline that had originally existed had to have certainly been altered, which was something that M'gann had been concerned about, though she was fairly sure that J'onn would have preferred that they had been able to combat the virus when Cadmus first developed it.  What if this was how it came into Cadmus' hands? Some weird timey whimey swap? 

 

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" she heard Kara shout before the sound of glass shattering added to the chaos.

 

Alex was overwhelmed, but she didn't miss the burning sensation that had to be coming from an IV because it travelled from her hand upward.  It didn't hurt, but it wasn't comfortable. It reminded her of a sedation drug she'd had in the past. 

 

"What have you done?!" Kara demanded.

 

"What we had to do."

 

"Kara,  _ please _ !" her mother pleaded.  "You  _ have _ to understand!"

 

Kara wouldn't.

 

"Someone get a medical team in here!" she heard J'onn yell next.

 

Alex started to choke and that was when her eyes flipped wide open to the dimmed bay lights over head.  She couldn't breathe, her whole body fought to survive. Concerned faces were immediately hovering over her and when she turned her head to the side she saw the medical team running in and J'onn in the doorway.  But it was Kara, her mother, and her father who were looking down at her. 

 

Her father.

 

It still didn't make it  _ right _ , even if he'd been able to combat the virus.

 

"Relax, Alex," Jeremiah coached.  "The tube is helping you breathe right now,  _ let it _ ."

 

She felt her mother squeeze her hand and she just felt an overwhelming rush of anger and relief and shock.  Alex struggled for a few seconds longer before making herself relax enough that the machine could do its job.  

 

"You need to get back," Doctor Hamilton instructed them both and pushed past them, but didn't make Kara move.  Alex watched as the doctor immediately started to check her vitals. "Agent Danvers, I need you to stay as calm as you can, okay?"

 

Alex nodded ever so weakly.  

 

"I don't want to remove any equipment until we better understand what was given to you and how that's affecting you, so I need you to be patient with us," Hamilton said.  

 

"Lock them up," she heard J'onn say and she knew who he was referring to.  J'onn would be detaining her parents and would likely deal with them after things were straightened out (or until he needed information from her father about what she'd been given).

 

"Let's run labs," Hamilton said to one of the nurses.

 

They seemed to be moving to one area so that Kara could stand closer, taking a hand that was free.  Kara held it to her chest, both of her hands wrapped over Alex's, their eyes meeting. "I'm here… We're going to figure this out…"

 

For better or worse...

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC...


	9. Reality

"I'm not breaking you out of here."

 

"You'd want me to break you out if you were in my place," Alex argued weakly.  In truth, she wanted to just go home and sleep in her own bed...she'd even go for sleeping on Kara's couch.  She knew that she should at least talk to her mother, but she was waiting for Doctor Hamilton to come back with the lab tests that had been run after she'd been injected with whatever her father had injected her with.  

 

Kara smiled at that.  "That's true…"

 

"Even if you felt like crap."

 

"If I broke  you out, what would you want to do?"

 

"Truthfully?" Alex asked and let out a sigh.  "I'd want to talk to mom and then go home and just sleep."

 

"You're not going to talk to Jeremiah?"

 

"Not yet."

 

"I can't say that I'm not happy if what he did cured the virus, but...I guess I'm happy even if it just slowed it...so that we still have more time," Kara said slowly, her smile faded and she was quite serious.

 

Alex stared at Kara and reached out to take her sister's hand.  "Come here," she said. Holding open her arms, Kara didn't hesitate to hug her.  Alex wrapped her arms around her sister and held tight. "No matter what happens, Kara, no matter where we are...or if I'm gone...I will always be with you…"

 

" _ Don't say that _ , I can't lose you," Kara whispered, clear worry and upset in her voice.  "Stronger  _ together _ ."

 

Smiling at that, she just held on since it didn't seem like Kara was ready to release her either.  "I just… I want to spend the time I  _ do _ have now without dwelling on what's going to happen or wasting it--"

 

Kara pulled back then.  "It's not a waste if it saves you."

 

"I spent  _ so _ much time, Kara," Alex explained calmly.  "In the future, my other self tried to save others...and herself.  I tried it. Others tried it." She paused. "Ayrdaen has been through--"

 

"We're not talking about Ayrdaen right now, Alex, we're talking about  _ you _ ."

 

It was time to tell Kara, even if it didn't help anything.  Her sister needed to know and maybe she could help make things better and maybe easier for Ayrdaen.  Alex drew in a breath and looked directly at her sister before beginning. "Ayrdaen is my daughter, Kara," she explained.  "Her mother died...and the future J'onn came back and took me to the future to try to give her back her mother...but she knew I wasn't her mother...and it was a one way trip."

 

"Who's her father?" 

 

"J'onn," Alex told her sister.  "Cadmus used my future self for their hybrid project while she was held captive."

 

"So, I assume J'onn already knows?"

 

"Yes," Alex admitted.  "I didn't know how to tell you...or Mom."

 

"Why?"

 

"She's not always...so receptive.  She grew up with J'onn and M'gann as well as her mother...and she seems to identify more as a Martian."

 

"But you're human…"  Kara looked confused then.  "Why did you tell her to say that she was Kryptonian?"

 

"I thought that maybe you'd take her under your wing...and it might explain the fact that she's so different from human children her age," Alex admitted.  "And I  _ might _ have told her all of the Supergirl stories I knew..."

 

"I wasn't with you in the future?"

 

"No."

 

"Well, we're going to change things--"

 

"We already have."

 

And maybe that should give her some hope.  

 

"And you should rest," Kara told her firmly.  

 

Alex smiled at her sister's sudden change of topic.  "I'm in the medical bay...in a medical bed...not doing anything more than talking to my sister.  I've been unconscious for far too long already. How much more resting do I need to do?"

 

"It depends on what Doctor Hamilton says."

 

Alex wasn't surprised by that response and sighed.  "Promise me that if I'm not in medical danger that I get to go home and sleep."

 

"I promise, but I'm going to be keeping an eye on you...just to make sure."

 

"Deal."

 

There was silence between them.  "What about Ayrdaen?"

 

Alex thought about that.  "I don't know… Where is she now?"

 

"I think J'onn has her napping.  I know that Adler and Benanti offered to take her home, they figured that it might be good for her since Charlie is about the same age...but it didn't look like J'onn thought that was a good idea," Kara explained.

 

"It was sweet of them, but it's probably not," Alex said.  "Going home with me would probably be the better plan." She paused for a minute.  "If Mom wasn't locked up right now, I'd say that we all just needed to go to Midvale."

 

"When in doubt, go home?"

 

"Always."

 

"Do you think she'd like it there?"

 

"I don't know…  I just know that if this is her life now, that it's going to be difficult...she was so much closer to M'gann and J'onn because she knew I wasn't really her mother."

 

"Well...and if this is how things are going to be...how are you going to do your job and be a mom?"

 

"Okay, let's just take this all one step at a time," Alex said, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.  "We don't even know if what Dad gave me is a cure or not...it might have just been something that's masking the symptoms."

 

"Hey, we're going to be positive," Kara scolded.

 

"Being optimistic about something is a concept that's become a bit foreign to me," Alex admitted.  "The fact that I was dying wasn't the only obstacle I was facing in that future...otherwise J'onn and M'gann would have kept Ayrdaen."  She paused for a moment. "They could both be dead. I don't know how the stasis pod would have gotten here…"

 

"What was happening?  It doesn't matter now if you tell me, right?  Everything's changed."

 

"The Faceless Hunters were coming for us…  I don't know if they were coming for me or Ayrdaen or J'onn or M'gann...or anyone who wasn't Thoron."

 

"What are the Faceless Hunters?"

 

"Bounty hunters."

 

"Who would have a bounty out on any of you?" Kara questioned.  

 

"I have no idea, but J'onn and M'gann were scared enough that they tucked Ayrdaen into the stasis pod with me."

 

"J'onn's in the process of getting that back online here on base, just in case we need it again," Kara brought up.  "I suppose it was good you two were unconscious because it had to have been a tight squeeze."

 

"I don't even remember getting in there."

 

"What's the last thing you remember before waking up here?" 

 

It was something that she hadn't thought of.  Alex had mostly thought about waking up with Ayrdaen after the pod had opened and released them from stasis, being on guard afraid that the Faceless Hunters were coming for them...and she just had to stay alive and with it enough to keep Ayrdaen safe.  But before...on Thoron...even though she remembered that the Faceless Hunters were coming for foreigners and taking them...that they were ready to run if they needed to...the last thing she remembered was collapsing in her lab. "I was trying to find a cure...and I collapsed in my lab," Alex said as she focused on thinking about it.  "I don't remember if it was because I hadn't eaten or if it was because of the virus. I remember wishing that you and Mom were there...but then J'onn was there picking me up off the floor and telling me that it would be okay…"

 

"I can't even imagine what you had gone through…  At least you weren't alone?"

 

"No," Alex gave her.  "But it was lonely…"

 

"But you had J'onn and M'gann and Ayrdaen--"

 

"It wasn't like it was now...things were so much more complicated...and tense…  I didn't belong and I  _ felt _ it every day."

 

Kara wrapped her arms around Alex again, her head resting against her sister's gently.  "Well you _ belong  _ here...and you're  _ home  _ with us…"  Silence passed between them, just the hug encompassing the moment.  "Yeah...yeah...we  _ need _ to go home...to Midvale…"  She pulled back and stared at Alex.  "I'm going to go find Doctor Hamilton, okay?  See if we can go…"

 

"And track down J'onn?"

 

There was a sound and they both looked over to see him standing there in the doorway with his hands on his hips.  He looked troubled, but that wasn't unexpected...especially given the circumstances. "Found him," Kara said, cheeriness clear in her voice now.  She pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead before leaving to find the doctor.

 

"Did I just summon you?" Alex tried to lighten things.  

 

J'onn did smile at that.  "No, I have been trying not to listen so much…"  He was quiet for a moment before taking Kara's place in the chair beside Alex's bed.  "But I do worry about you...and even more now, not yet knowing what Jeremiah gave to you has affected you."

 

"Did you ask him about it?"

 

"I had Adler."

 

Alex understood why.  She gave a small nod. He was too close and too angry.  Not only was he upset about her...and the fact that her mother had snuck in her father...but there were likely conflicting feelings still between him and her father.  "Anything come of it?"

 

"Your mother gave Adler some technical terms that she doesn't remember, but apparently your father said that the Norsoi Virus is being developed now by Cadmus, but is in the early stages...so, seeing it now even though it's more complex...he was familiar enough to develop an antidote."  He was quiet for a moment. "He said it worked on the sample your mother took, but--"

 

"But samples and actual test subjects can show different results."

 

"You're not a test subject," J'onn countered, deep sadness in his voice.  "You're one of the strongest people I know."

 

Alex smiled at that and reached out and took his hand before squeezing it.  "I'm okay, you know…" She let a beat pass before continuing. "At least right now, I'm okay…  What happened in the future...what happened with your future--well, I guess it would be alternate future self now...that's not you...and nothing that happened there is your fault."

 

"Alex--"

 

"I'm serious," she said quieter because she didn't feel like he was taking in what she was saying.  "And I don't know if I could have made a different choice in that future if the roles were reversed and I had the option available to me as well…"  

 

"It's not that," J'onn voiced quietly, pain still clear in his voice.  "It's how you were treated...by M'gann and Ayrdaen…"

 

"They were both grieving...and Ayrdaen knew I wasn't her mom...and she was so young…  I can't be upset at either of them," Alex said truthfully. "It just took me a while to figure out my place...but I am back now...that's what counts, right?"

 

"What about Ayrdaen?"

 

"Ah, yes...she is something we have to discuss," Alex said with a nod.  "I was thinking...that if my mom doesn't have to be in custody...given that Doctor Hamilton says that I'm good to leave medical...that we could go to Midvale...Kara, Mom, Ayrdaen...and I…"

 

"Of course."

 

"Even though Ayrdaen is from the future, she's biologically still yours and mine...technically."

 

J'onn gave a nod.  "I didn't expect to be a father so suddenly...again...and to a child that is already so grown."

 

Alex let out a little laugh at that.  "She's still so young, J'onn…"

 

"I know, but…"

 

"But she's stubborn?"

 

"She gets that from you."

 

Alex beamed incredibly bright at that remark.  "No, she gets it from the  _ both  _ of us."

 

"But right now, let's figure it out as it goes with Ayrdaen...I defer to you as you have spent the most time with her," J'onn said.  "It's important for her to know of her Green Martian heritage, but perhaps she needs to be enveloped with human culture right now. Once things settle down, perhaps we can figure out something that will work well for everyone involved."

 

"Hopefully she doesn't go kicking and screaming," Alex remarked.

 

"Apparently I have a disappointed and terrifying 'dad' look...according to Benanti."

 

The laugh escaped her almost without any control.  "She's not wrong."

 

Kara returned with Doctor Hamilton, which made Alex's smile and bit of happiness creep away.  Instead, nerves filled her as she waited to hear the results of the testing that had been done.  Really, she was at the point where no matter what was said next, she was going to check herself out and head home to Midvale.  She couldn't just lay in that medical bay for who knew how long any longer. So, she just hoped for good news.

 

"I want to run more tests," Doctor Hamilton said first.  "But so far, the results are promising."

 

The weight lifted from Alex, but she knew better than to let that take over.  That could mean that it was just temporary, but for this moment, she would take it.  "So, I don't have to stay here?" she asked nearly immediately.

 

"You can be cleared once I get another set of vials to run updated tests on," the doctor explained.  "But I don't want you cleared for active duty yet."

 

"But I can leave the DEO?"

 

Doctor Hamilton didn't respond right away and she seemed tentative about the idea.  It was like you could see the wheels turning in her head and she was trying to think of the correct words to use next.  "Where are you thinking of going?"

 

"Home, to Midvale," Alex explained.

 

"If there was an emergency, J'onn or I could get her back here fast though," Kara spoke up.  

 

"Okay," the doctor agreed a moment later.  "But I want you to take it easy."

 

"I can do that," Alex agreed.

 

"I'll be back in a minute then," Doctor Hamilton said before leaving them for a moment.

 

"So, we're going home then?" Kara questioned.

 

"We're taking Ayrdaen with us...and I need to talk to mom, if you're okay with releasing her?" Alex asked looking to J'onn.

 

"I know why she did it, though I don't agree with what she did...I'll let you talk to her and if you feel like it's safe to release her...then I will," J'onn said.  "But Jeremiah stays."

 

"I'm not arguing that one."  Alex sighed. "Not now."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

 


	10. Master Agent

Zipping up the DEO hoodie, Alex felt so much more comfortable than she had in the hospital gown she'd found herself wearing when she'd woken up in the medical bay.  Sweats and a tank top absolutely worked for her. Basically, Alex was good with anything that covered her and allowed her to actually get out of bed. She'd been forced to take it slow and Kara was still hovering close (just in case her legs gave way underneath her).  Doctor Hamilton had recommended a lot of rest, which Alex was going to get to once they talked to her mother. J'onn was waiting outside, giving them time alone with her and Alex wondered if he was still also upset about what she'd done. 

 

"Oh, Alex…" her mother breathed when she saw her walk in.  She got up from the bench/bed that she'd been sitting on and moved towards the cell barrier that divided them.  "Look at you… You're better… You're cured. You're cured, right?" Her mother was so overjoyed and didn't seem bothered in the least by being in the cell.  "Jeremiah--"

 

"How could you bring him here?" Alex asked before her mother could finish her sentence.  "How could you let him inject me with something manufactured at Cadmus? You didn't give me a choice in it…" her voice broke a bit at the end.  All she could think of was that Cadmus had been responsible for the Norsoi Virus and Project Demigod and so many other things...Cadmus was  _ not  _ a good place in any version of a world.  She drew in a breath and then pushed it out, trying to calm herself as she felt her emotions failing to stay under her control.  "You had to have known that Kara and J'onn wouldn't have agreed--"

 

"I'm your  _ mother _ , Alex," Eliza told her gently.  "I told you...I'd do  _ anything  _ to save you."  She paused for a moment.  "And I know that your father works for Cadmus and that's not something that any of us should want to be aligned with after  _ everything _ they've done...to Kara...tried to do to you and J'onn...done to your father... _ to our family _ ...but Jeremiah is  _ still  _ your father."

 

" _ No _ ," Alex said quickly.  She was exhausted and she just wanted to go home, but she had to know that it was safe for her mother to be released.  Right now, she wasn't going to put up with talking about her father, there were so many thoughts going through her head and she just couldn't.  "The father that _ I _ loved and who would do _ anything  _ for our family,  _ he died _ in Peru saving J'onn."  She shook her head and hadn't been able to keep her emotion out of her voice.  It was too hard and Alex was certain that no matter the time that passed she would feel the same.  "That man that  _ looks  _ like my dad, he's  _ proven _ more than once that he'd do anything for Cadmus, that that twisted terrorist group is the priority in his life.  He's  _ not _ my father and he's  _ not _ Jeremiah Danvers."

 

"Alex--"

 

"We need to know if you've aligned yourself with Cadmus," Kara spoke up now.

 

Alex was thankful that her sister was chiming in.  She was so drained and she hated to feel like she wasn't in control of her emotions, but her family was the few handful of people that got to saw her that way.  Alex was certain that she and Kara knew the truthful answer about her mother's allegiances, but it still had to be brought up. "We want to go home to Midvale... _ with you _ ...and take Ayrdaen...but if you're with them, we can't let you out, Mom…"

 

"I'm not a Cadmus agent now... _ never _ ...not after all they've done," Eliza told them.  "I just...I just needed his help… We met at some abandoned remote lab.  I took the samples to him and we worked on a solution.  _ That was it _ .  It was only to  _ save _ you, Alex.   _ I promise _ ."

 

Alex crossed her arms over her chest as she looked over at Kara, waiting for some kind of response.  There was a slight nod from Kara and Alex sighed before reaching out and pressing in the code to release her mother from the cell.  Her mother stepped out and Alex didn't know how to react. She was glad to see her mother, but she was conflicted.

 

"Am I allowed a hug?" Eliza asked.

 

Nodding as she moved towards her mother, Alex wrapped her arms around her mother and blew out a breath as her mother held her tight.  "I just--"

 

"Shh…"

 

Kara was joining in on the hug a moment later and they stayed there for a much needed nice length of time.  They really didn't get together, just the three of them, enough. It either took something bad happening and then she and Kara would go to Midvale or her mom would come to National City.  

 

"Let's go home," Eliza said quietly.  

 

"Road trip?" Kara asked, her voice just as quiet.

 

They separated and Alex pushed away the tears that had fallen while they'd been hugging.  She nodded. "But I do need to stop along the way. Ayrdaen is going to need actual clothes."

 

"She's been borrowing from Charlie Benanti," Kara informed.  "And she hasn't seemed thrilled about it."

 

"Just wait until she sees her selection...it'll be like you all over again," Alex teased Kara with a smile.

 

"Hey...I was not a difficult child."

 

"You two were perfect children," Eliza said as they headed out.  

 

"Just remember that for all the stories you'll no likely tell her while we're there," Kara put out there.

 

As they stepped out into the hallway, Alex looked over to J'onn who had been waiting out there.  "Go on without me, I'll catch up," she told Kara and her mother. 

 

"Oh yeah, make _ me _ break the news to Ayrdaen...she already hates me," Kara said and it was clearly purposely dramatic.

 

Once they were out of earshot, she turned back to J'onn.  "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

 

"I'll be checking up on all of you," J'onn told her honestly and gently.  "Just in case…"

 

"I appreciate it," Alex confessed.  It was actually a little odd to be so far away from him.  It always was when they went out to Midvale. She was quiet for a moment before looking up at him.  "After Peru...when you promised my father that you'd make sure we were safe...did you check up on us?"

 

"All the time," he said.  "I had to keep my promise.  I had to keep you all safe."

 

"Did I see you?"

 

"Never in this form," he admitted.  "But those are stories for another time."  

 

"There's something else, though, isn't there?"

 

He smiled at that.  "Sometimes I wonder if you're slightly telepathic…"

 

"I just know you."

 

"I just…"  He paused and seemed to be thinking of his words.  "I was out here thinking about everything I saw in your head before you passed out before...and I just realized while I was standing out here...why he was so upset to lose his Alex...why it cut him so deep...why M'gann was probably upset over it…"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because in a way, you were my first love in 300 years," J'onn admitted.  "I knew that you would be the one that I'd have to look out for even more so than Kara or your mother."  He laughed it off for a brief moment. "I guess I basically semi-stalked you and your family after Peru in the most non-creepy way.  I watched you closely, made sure you were kept safe, came in and helped put things back on track when needed...and then when you were old enough--"

 

"You recruited me…"

 

"When you most needed it."

 

"You were the first person in that time that accepted me and cared about me as Hank Henshaw, but also as J'onn J'onzz.  You...and Kara considered me family. It had been so long since I had had that." He paused for a moment. "I'm beyond thankful and grateful to have you in my life...and the family we've built here."

 

"Our family of misfits?" Alex teased with a smile.  She got what he was saying and she understood it. Saying it out loud likely made it sound far creepier than it was...but when you lived such a long span compared to someone else you were looking out for…

 

"Yes."

 

As she opened her arms and took a step towards him in order to hug him, she assured him, "No one's around to see."  He laughed at that as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Alex was already missing him. As much as she didn't want to leave, she knew it was the best thing to do...for her, for Kara, for Ayrdaen, and for her mother.  They needed Midvale...to center, if for nothing else. "If you're checking in on us, feel free to knock on the door...we won't mind the visit. Okay?" 

 

As they separated, he gave a nod.  "Okay."

 

"Plus Ayrdaen will probably be so over being with humans by that time, since you know...she thinks she's not even part human."

 

He shook his head.

 

She touched his arm.  "Don't be irritated with her, she'll figure it out.  She's been through a lot."

 

"She has you."

 

"She has  _ both _ of us."

 

"You should go," he said.  "I'll walk you."

 

"Are you going to telepathically tell her to behave?" Alex asked, half teasing and half serious.  

 

"Not in so many words."

 

She laughed at that.  "You don't need words."

 

He just smiled.

 

They walked together in silence until they made it to the garage.  "I'll text you when we get to Midvale," she told him. "So you don't worry."

 

"I would appreciate that."  A beat passed between them. "I have Adler driving you.  No matter how many stops it takes. I would rather someone be driving, who can also look out for all of you."

 

"You know Kara's going to be with us."

 

"I've seen her drive."

 

A smile spread across her face before they joined the others.  Alex stepped back and watched as Kara hugged him and said her goodbyes.  There was an awkward exchange between him and her mother, she wasn't surprised...but eventually things had to get back on track.  The truth was, they'd all go just as far for any of their family...but Cadmus...it was just terrifying more than too far. Finally, he crouched in front of Ayrdaen.  Alex was certain that there was some kind of telepathy that was going on, but J'onn didn't just leave it like that. 

 

"I expect you to behave and be respectful," J'onn told Ayrdaen.

 

Ayrdaen just sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

"There will be chocolate chip cookies," Kara piped up sing-song, excitedly like she'd just thought about it and was excited herself over the idea.

 

"I haven't ever had a chocolate chip cookie before," Ayrdaen said slowly.

 

That seemed like that was far too much for Kara to hear and she grabbed Ayrdaen and placed her inside the SUV they'd be borrowing for the trip.  "Okay, you've been neglected far too long. Time to treat you to the wonders of this world."

 

Alex rolled her eyes and watched as Kara climbed in besides Ayrdaen.  Her mother moved around to the other side and Alex found herself being pulled away from J'onn.  Looking to her right, the side her arm was being held onto at, she found Adler there. The other agent was obviously not pleased about this assignment, but she would have made the same choice as J'onn.  Alice Adler was fierce, loyal, brilliant, and would be able to keep them all in line (even Kara and Ayrdaen). Adler had also been one of the other main people who trained her when she'd first started at the DEO, besides J'onn of course.  

 

"Let's go, Danvers," Adler said.  "Bad enough I have to escort you four to Midvale...and then you're going to add a Target run to the mix?"  She sighed, clearly not pleased with her assignment (though Alex likely wouldn't in her place either). "You got to get that kid a stuffed unicorn or something…  Kids are weird when they don't have stuff like that."

 

"I'll keep that in mind."

 

"Glow in the dark stars, sneakers that sparkle and light up apparently are also a must if you ask my kid…"

 

"You'll have to give me all the notes in the car," Alex said.  She was going to walk to the other side, when Adler brought her to a stop.  The other doors were already closed and Adler yanked her a step closer. "Yes?"

 

"I know that's your kid, but are you really going to be okay with her up in Midvale?" Adler asked discreetly.

 

"How did you--"

 

Now Adler looked insulted as she took a step back and slid on her sunglasses.  "Are you  _ serious _ , Danvers?  No matter how close you get, I will  _ always _ be the master agent."

 

Alex wasn't going to argue that.  "Just don't tell--"

 

" _ Master agent _ ,  _ remember _ ?" Adler reminded.  "Now  _ get in _ the vehicle."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	11. Out of Place

Once they'd finished with Target, Alex had found some of their unexpected purchased (which Adler had insisted upon) had a purpose after all.  Adler had put the pillow slip on the pillow and tossed it into the very back seat and then tossed the rainbow unicorn fluffy blanket she'd insisted that Ayrdaen was going to need back there as well...all before she ordered Alex to lie back there and get some rest.   So, the rest of the ride had gone by quickly and without any issues, since she'd been unconscious for it. Being home in Midvale, it was so nice…

 

"I hate Earth," Ayrdaen exclaimed (for likely the billionth time since arriving on Earth).

 

...well, it had been.  Alex sighed and noticed the peeved look from Adler.  She moved to the back of the SUV and grabbed the Target bags before heading for the front door.  

 

"We should really carry reusable bags in the vehicles," Kara said cheerfully and absolutely seriously.  "Just in case…"

 

Alex smiled at that.  "I suppose we never know when we might need to stop for a Target or grocery run after chasing down an alien criminal," she teased.

 

"Seriously, don't give Lara that idea...she'll have personalized DEO reusable shopping totes in every vehicle...and she'll probably number them or give each vehicle a nickname to keep track of which bags belong in which vehicle," Adler said flatly.

 

When Alex turned back, she noticed that Ayrdaen was still outside.  This was really the first time she'd been outside since they'd gotten there.  She stood in the doorway, giving her a moment. Alex wondered in that moment if she'd have to worry about Ayrdaen flying, since she already knew that they really had no idea which Green Martian traits would present and which would be stronger than others.  

 

"You sure you got this?" Adler asked as she stood next to Alex.

 

"No."

 

"Well, I appreciate the truth."

 

Alex looked over at her.  "But I can do it."

 

"You know this whole thing I think is _supposed_ to be about you _resting_ , not having to police the kid."

 

"She's really not a bad kid."

 

"She thought we were trying to poison her when we bought her pizza," Adler reminded.

 

"Okay, so she's really not used to Earth or human things," Alex brushed off.  "She'll have to adjust."

 

"She hates Earth and thinks she's a Green Martian."

 

"We'll be fine," Alex said.  "And if not, I can always call for back-up."

 

"Okay then," Adler said as she patted Alex's shoulder.  "Good luck."

 

"Thanks."

 

"You'll need it," Adler said as she moved to the SUV.  She looked towards Ayrdaen. "Later kid, try not to drive everyone crazy."

 

"I don't like you," Ayrdaen replied.

 

"Cool," Adler replied with a shrug before getting into the SUV.

 

"Ayrdaen," Alex scolded lightly.  When the little girl looked over at her, Alex knew that this wasn't going to be easy and that she had her work cut out for her, but she hoped being there would help.  J'onn would come and maybe that really would smooth things over a bit.

 

"How long are we staying here?"

 

"However long it takes."

 

"For what?"

 

Alex sighed.  "For me to feel better...and maybe for you to acclimate a little better."

 

"Why do I have to do that?"

 

"Because for right now, it seems like there's no way to get you back home to Thoron in the future," Alex told her truthfully.  "If I could send you back to your father and M'gann there, I would."

 

"Where's M'gann here?"

 

"On Mars."

 

"Can I go there?"

 

"No."

 

"Why not?"

 

This was going to be a long visit in Midvale.  "Because things are very different in this time period.  Sometimes M'gann visits, but she and other White Martians are fighting a battle against their fellow White Martians.  It wouldn't be safe for you on Mars."

 

"It's not safe for me on Earth."

 

And there she had her.  Alex tried to think of the right response because Ayrdaen was absolutely right, but she didn't want to say that out loud to her.  She wanted her to settle in and start to feel like she could be safe there. It was important.

 

"Come in, Ayrdaen," Eliza said as she popped her head outside.  "You can come tell me what you think you want to eat for dinner."

 

Surprisingly, that was enough to get Ayrdaen into the house and there was no arguing or discussion.  Maybe it was just her mother's superpower. Whatever it was, Alex was grateful in that moment not to have a fight.  Alex looked out at Midvale around them for a moment, sucked in a breath, and then headed in the house after them.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


"You doing okay, Sweetheart?"

 

Alex looked up and over at her mother.  She wasn't very hungry and mainly pushing food around on the plate, but didn't want Ayrdaen to think that it was a cue that meant that she didn't need to eat.  There had already been complaining about human food, which Eliza and Kara had quickly shut down since Ayrdaen had been part of the food prep process. Alex was absolutely exhausted.  All she'd wanted to do was to sleep since she'd gotten there, but hadn't felt like that was actually an option. "I'm just tired."

 

"She's afraid I'm going to misbehave," Ayrdaen spoke up between bites.

 

"Are you mind reading?" Alex asked, half irritated.  The exhaustion was really getting to her as she looked over at Ayrdaen.  They still didn't know the extent of Ayrdaen's powers and Alex had a feeling all along that she did that on purpose.

 

"I have superior observation skills," was the reply instead as Ayrdaen looked at her.  "My father always said that I got it from my mother." Her voice had been even and matter of fact.  Now, though, her tone changed to gentle and quiet as she spoke up again. "You should really go lie down.  I pledge to obey the rules."

 

And in that moment, Ayrdaen reminded Alex of something that really scared her.  

 

There was a knock at the door and it rattled her a bit.  Alex covered her face with both of her hands and closed her eyes after she saw Kara get up to check it.  She sucked in a breath and pushed it out, trying to focus on staying awake.

 

"Alex, Sweetheart, let's get you upstairs, okay?" Eliza said and Alex knew that it really wasn't a request.  Her mother had come around the table and Alex could feel her mother's hands on her shoulders, as if trying to guide her up and out of the chair.

 

Giving in, Alex opened her eyes and stood up.  As she allowed her mother to guide her towards the stairs, they both saw J'onn at the door with Kara...but her mother kept her moving.  "I told him to not be a stranger," Alex mumbled.

 

"That's a good thing."

 

"I'm just really tired."

 

"I know, Sweetheart," her mother said.  "I washed all the bedding up here for you and Kara."

 

Clean bedding was always the best to sleep in.  Alex just nodded sleepily. "What about Ayrdaen?"  They climbed the stairs, Alex finding it harder than normal, but pushed herself anyways.  She knew she could make it that far.

 

" _Right now_ , you let _us_ worry about her."

 

"Mom, you don't understand," Alex whispered as they made it into the bedroom.  

 

No words were exchanged for a couple of minutes as Eliza pulled back the covers and made sure that Alex lowered herself gently onto the bed.  Eliza just went to work without a word, removing Alex's jacket and her shoes.

 

Alex removed her bra and set it aside.  This was more than enough for her to be comfortable to sleep.  At this point, she felt like she could be in anything and still sleep.  "Mom," she weakly tried.

 

"Shh…"  Eliza carefully helped Alex so that she was laying down and tucked her in before sitting on the edge of the bed.  "Sleep, Alexandra. I think I can manage to take care of my own granddaughter…"

 

Blinking, Alex tried to stay conscious.  Panic filled her brain, but unconsciousness was tugging like crazy at her.  

 

She hadn't told her mother Ayrdaen's identity.

 

How had she known…

 

Alex's last thoughts were of Ayrdaen's tone downstairs coupled with the panicked thought that Cadmus probably now knew about Ayrdaen.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


**The Future**

  


Alex had been infected by the Norsoi Virus and had been locked away in her lab researching like crazy.  She'd looked over everything that her future self had gone through. Whenever she'd thought she'd had a break through...she'd find an entry in the research journal.  The good thing about being on Thoron was that so far, the Norsoi Virus didn't seem to be able to jump to other species. J'onn, M'gann, and even Ayrdaen were all safe.  That brought her some solace. It wasn't a lot, but it was something...Alex had so wanted to solve the virus...to figure out how to get it to the past and save all the people who Cadmus had murdered…

 

She _wasn't_ winning.  

 

There was a light knock on the lab door and Alex looked over, there was a window in the door, and she could see Ayrdaen peeking in.  "Sweetheart, I'm working right now."

 

"I could still come in," Ayrdaen shouted from the other side of the door.

 

No matter that Ayrdaen seemed to be immune, Alex had still been worried that somehow it could mutate and that the little girl would catch it...and she couldn't live with that.  She wasn't the only one who had been worried about it...it had been in several entries in the research journals from her future self. "Not in here," Alex told her.

 

"We could go outside."

 

"I can't go outside, Sweetheart," Alex said gently with a sigh.  That was something that they'd all agreed upon. They didn't want to risk it.  They couldn't risk the virus mutating. They couldn't risk spreading it.

 

Something changed with Ayrdaen's face...and as Alex was trying to figure out what was wrong...she struggled to stay upright in her chair.  Her vision blurred and the darkness crept in. She tried to brace herself, to keep herself in the chair, as she held tight to the table...but it was like the room flipped on her.  She found herself blinking, looking towards the door but clearly on the floor, and the sound of Ayrdaen's shouting faded as quickly as her vision did.

 

What had to be a short time later, she woke to J'onn laying her in her bed.  "Shh…" he whispered. "You passed out. You're okay...you just need rest." His hand brushed against her cheek as he stared down at her.  "You work yourself too hard."

 

"I have to find the answer."

 

"You will."

 

"I didn't before…"  His face twisted in response to that and she knew that was really the wrong thing to say, but she wasn't thinking corrected.

 

"I have faith in you," J'onn said slowly.  "Please rest."

 

Alex lay there, staring up at the ceiling and trying to think over what she had been working on before, but the exhaustion she was feeling just kept pushing through.  She closed her eyes, but when she heard sounds, she opened them again to find that she wasn't alone. A smile slipped across her face, she couldn't help it. "Ayrdaen, you're not supposed to be in here…"

 

At first only the little girl's dark curls that were popping up in every direction could be seen, but then she popped up to smile at her.  It had been not until recently that Ayrdaen had become sweeter to Alex, she'd attributed it to her falling sick (like her mother had). "Mama, you have to get better," Ayrdaen said gently, almost begging.  

 

Mama…

 

She'd only called her that once before.

 

Tears filled her eyes and Alex tried to push them back, but couldn't.  Did Ayrdaen sense the virus taking over? The virus slowly killing her?  Or did she just remember that this was all something her mother had gone through?  Ayrdaen had been so young, but she'd still been so impressionable (and her memories were still very much there).  "I'm trying," she whispered. "There's a key to figuring it out, I just have to find it…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been updating my social media, so please check those out! I also post sneak peeks and updates there first!
> 
> Twitter (shannyfish)  
> Tumblr (shannyfishwriter)


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